Mistakes We Repeat

Russians say "it is a fool who walks twice into the same water". "Walking into the same water" means repeating the same mistake. Unfortunately, others succeed to make the same mistake far more than twice. They face failure again and again but keep on believing that this time everything is going to be all right. Such a situation is especially peculiar to family and intimate relations.

This problem is seriously studied by one of the modern psychology schools called transactional analysis. Transactional analysis handles the terms such as family scenario, parental programming etc. Although described in scientific language, these concepts somehow resemble esoteric notions of karma or tribal curse. It is typical of every person to have certain behavioral patterns, habits and algorithms derived from early childhood. Sometimes we even do not recognize what they really are and follow them subconsciously. According to this idea, the easiest way to explain your failures will be to blame your parents' influence. There would be no reason to change anything in your own behavior but then you will be doomed to repeat the same mistakes again and again.

Nobody can secure him or herself against making mistakes. Mistakes are made both by losers and winners. However, the thing that distinguishes these two types is their response. A winner leaves his past behind and faces the future, while loser keeps interrogating his memory. A winner would rather say "next time I'll do that otherwise" and changes his model of behavior. Quite the contrary, a loser says "I should have done this otherwise" and next time makes the same mistake.

If we keep on doing only the things we did before, nothing new will happen in our life. But, you know, if the door would not open outwards, you should try pulling it inside. In general this principle seems rather evident, but what should we do to make it work?

The first thing that should be changed concerning the sphere of personal and family relations is the way of establishing contact and the area of search. Our appearance and style of behavior attract people who have much in common; although at the first sight they may seem completely unlike each other. However, similar features can be perceived differently by the people of different nations and, as a result, different mentality.

Why could not a Western man, who fails to find proper woman amid his compatriots, meet a Russian girl in the Internet? A Russian girl also can use this way to find a man who would make her a good husband. This idea may frighten you with its strangeness and novelty but you should remember that customary actions bring only customary results, while something new is obtained using new methods and ways.